JoKeS

Sakshi to Dhoni: Chai piyoge?
Dhoni: Ji. Bilkul!
Sakshi: Kaunse cup mai du 2007 ya 2011 ke?
Dhoni: Fir thdi der aur Ruk Jaa.. 2014 ke cup mai piyunga!

Sakshi: Us cup me to yuvraaj tatti kar gaya.

Dhoni’s Mother: Beta Mahi, Market se sabzi le aa.
Dhoni- Par Maa hum haar gaye na, toh log bahut gusse me hain!
Mother- Ek kam kro Meri sari pehnkar jao, koi nhi pehchanega.
Dhoni goes to market wearing sari.
1 GIRL- Hi, Dhoni how r u?
Dhoni get shocked- Apko kaise pata chala, Bahin JI?
GIRL- Abe saale, Main Yuvraj hoon ..!!

Husband: Tumhare Shaadi se pehlekitne boyfriend the??

Wife silent..

Husband chilla ke: Me iss khamoshi ko kya samjhu?

Wife: Haaye Rabba..
Gin to rahi hu, Chilla kyun rahe ho..

Maa beti se: Beti doodh ka glass pee lo
Beti: No mama mujhe nai peena.
Maa: Beti agar doodh nahi piyogi to badi kaise hogi?
Beti: maa apko bhi toh doodh pasand nahi,
phir bhi aap badi ho gai hain Main bhi nahi piyungi to badi ho jaungi.
Maa: Achi bachiyan zid nahi karti, Agar meri achi beti ho to doodh pee lo warna mei tum se khafa ho jaungi.
Beti: OK mama.. aap kehti hain toh mein doodh pee leti hoon . .

Aur is tarah us ki beti ne doodh pee liya..

Msg end tak kitnay gaur se padha hai ki kab non veg start hoga..
bus karo darindo…. Navratre chal raha hai! 

Lady- doctor mere lips pe infection ho gaya hai.

Doc- kiss kitni bar karti ho?

Lady- saal me ek bar.

Doc- infection nahi zang lag gaya hai.

Boy: Hello, Pammi darling… kaisi ho?
Girl: Who’s this?
Boy: Tera aashiq hun; jaaneman !!
Girl: Tu Bunty hai na.
Boy: Yes; but how do you know ?
Girl: Tu Bansilal ka beta hai na.
Boy: Yes but how you know me??
Girl: Tu Ramlal ka pota hai na…..
Boy: Yes !! but jaanu, tumhe ye sab kaise pata?
Girl: Bunty Haramkhor; kutte, mai teri Maa hun!!
Tune ‘Pummi’ ko nahi, ‘Mummi’ ko phone lagaya hai!